From Obligation to Obsession

At first, I ran because I had to.

I was preparing for a martial arts competition—specifically boxing. Every training session focused on performance: more power, faster footwork, quicker recovery.

As I dropped weight, the pressure only increased.

Finding female fighters above 60 kilograms in Malta is no easy task. So I set my sights on kickboxing instead—a sport I used to love as a teen and had even competed in once before. To achieve that goal, I was advised to improve my cardio.

So, I added 3KM runs to my already packed schedule, hoping they would sharpen my stamina and form.

Each run became a test. Could I beat my last pace? Push through the burn? Be the version of me who deserved to compete?

It was exhausting to live up to that expectation—and honestly, it’s what eventually made me fall off. Somewhere along the way, I lost interest in competing altogether.

But something unexpected happened amidst the sweat and stats—I started to feel good.

Not just stronger. Not just faster. But clearer. Lighter. More connected to myself.

The Original Goal: Outpace the Old Me

I put so much pressure on myself in the beginning.

I tracked every run: distance, pace, duration, weather, and even how I felt before and after. Not because I cared about the emotional side of things but because I needed results.

I was chasing a better, more disciplined version of myself. One who could compete and someone who could win.

And yes—I improved quickly.

In just three weeks, I dropped my pace from 5:47/km to 4:47/km. I ran on days filled with anxiety, on almost no sleep, and still pushed through.

But somewhere in that data-driven blur, I found something I was not even looking for: joy.

Running did not just clear my lungs—it cleared my mind. I would finish each run feeling almost high. Lighter. Grounded. The negativity I carried into the run? Gone.

Now? I Want to Run for Self-Connection

Over time, I had a quiet realization: I am just a normal girl who likes to build up a sweat.

And unless you are young and laser-focused on becoming a pro fighter, it is honestly not worth pushing yourself so hard to prove something.

There are things more important than cardio. More meaningful than two-hour training sessions.

Eventually, I got tired of proving myself to coaches. I am still open to the idea of a boxing match if the right opportunity comes. However, I am not chasing it anymore.

What am I chasing? That feeling I used to get after a run—not because it made me a better athlete, but because it made me a better version of myself. Running was my check-in. It was part of my self-care. It gave me emotional space and cleared my mental clutter.

So now, I am tying my laces again—not to impress anyone. But to reconnect, to feel more alive, and to move because I want to.

What My Challenge Taught me About Moving with Intention

Looking back on this journey, I realize it taught me more than I expected—about my body, my mind, and the way they collaborate when I move with intention rather than pressure.

These are not just things I noticed while tracking stats—they are the quiet truths that came through when I let go of performance and embraced running for self-connection:

• Sleep, food, and mood? They all show up in your legs.
• Windy days are easier than emotionally heavy ones.
• The body will show up for you—even when your mind is not sure.
• Tracking effort helped me tune in—rather than tune out.

And most of all, movement doesn’t always mean momentum. Sometimes, it just means presence.

What Is Next?

I am ready to run again. Although this time without the pressure.

No more fancy schedules and brutal expectations. Just me, my breath, and the road ahead.

I am choosing running for self-connection over pressure. And that is something I would love to share.

Ready to Start Your Running for Self-Connection Challenge?

If something in this challenge resonated with you, maybe it is your time too. Maybe not to train harder—but to move gentler. To show up, not to prove, but to witness.

Try a few 3 km runs yourself and notice how it feels.

But, instead of obsessing over numbers, try tracking how you feel. Remember, this is not about winning. It is about witnessing. Notice how you move, how you breathe, and how you carry yourself through it all.

Because that is where the gold truly lies—in the witnessing.

If that resonates, you might also love The Inner Kindness Pact — a 7-day challenge to start speaking to yourself like someone you truly love.

The Longblu Running for Self-Connection Tracker

Decided to start the challenge?

I have created a gentle running tracker you can download—designed to hold space for reflection, not perfection.

And I would really love to know:

Are you feeling called to run again, or maybe even inspired to try it for the first time? Have you ever used movement as a way back to yourself?

Share your thoughts below or tag me on Instagram @longbluofficial.
Let us witness the journey—together.

Elevate. Empower. Evolve.

With softness and strength,
Mikki